It was a warm spring day and I could feel Winter melting away with every gust of wind that made my hair wave wild as I traveled home from a long day at work with the windows down. To my right was the big blue reflective Lake Tahoe that appeared to go on forever. In that moment, I was knee deep in a long conversation (argument) with God.
The year I lived in Tahoe had been one of the worst years of my life. I had moved a thousand miles away from anyone that cared about me to attend school. My then boyfriend was going through a depression. I couldn’t seem to make a single reliable friend. I had a roommate of whom I could not see eye to eye with on almost everything, and I was living in the worst apartment complex in town. On top of that my Dad, who was six years into his battle with cancer had discovered a new form of cancer growing that was already considered stage four, which in case you don’t know, means the doctor basically said- enjoy the last few months of your life because your clock is ticking.
Needless to say I felt a little lost and a lot like God wasn’t paying attention to me or my life. I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world and hating every second of it. As God listened to me patiently rant about how he didn’t care, how he wasn’t paying attention or listening, He threw me a curve ball.
“I have some amazing plans for you, and if you don’t pay attention you’re going to miss it and cause yourself more pain in the long run.”
It reminded me of my family’s favorite verse that we meditated over the past few years:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord “plans not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I was so focused on my own life that I hadn’t even taken the time to ask God what His plan was for me because I wasn’t trusting Him! After lots of prayer I felt God’s push for me to move back to Colorado. I ended up choosing to transfer to the University if Colorado, Denver and I was terrified, but I was surrendered.
I can recall God’s voice whispering in my mind…“Just look at me.” It felt like I was risking everything in order to obey God and His will for my life.
This week we’re studying Joshua. God’s call for me to trust Him reminds me of Joshua’s spies who navigated their way into the walls of Jericho and met Rahab, a prostitute who also trusted the Lord. They risked everything by staying surrendered to the Lord and his plan.
Living surrendered to Christ is not always easy but I promise it is worth it. And just like in my own life, God continues to direct my steps and I can rest in Him, especially in my weaknesses! It means that as believers we are actively seeking first Jesus Christ and resting in his Grace and taking hold of his promises, even when the ocean’s rise and we may feel like we’re drowning in life.
Have you ever felt like you had to take a huge risk when it came to trusting God with your life?
The song Oceans by Hillsong United paints a beautiful picture of what it means to constantly live surrendered and seek and trust the one who has never failed- check it out!